“Gratitude is the closest thing to beauty manifested in an emotion,” writes Mindy Kaling, actress, comedian, and writer
Several years ago, I took an exercise class with a teacher who interjected her instructions with comments like, “As you squat, be grateful for your strong legs as they carry you home to see your family.” “Remember, your arms are capable of holding your newborn grandchild for hours.” “You can be thankful for strong abs and a strong spine to withstand any storm that comes your way.” I was appreciative but thought it was a little strange until she announced her cancer had returned and she would be undergoing chemo the next week. She never did teach again, but her lesson stayed with me years later: Be grateful.
Today, I am grateful for the smell of dried leaves; time to hike and appreciate the beauty of New Hampshire; my warm safe house; many people who care for me; a loving husband and fur baby; a job that pays well; and kind neighbors who look out for us. I acknowledge that I am more fortunate than 90% of the world’s population. So, how could I ever complain? And yet, I do.
“If you aren’t grateful for what you already have, what makes you think you would be happy with more.”― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart
During times of feeling overwhelmed, find one thing to be grateful for, then another. Where we spend our time and attention becomes our reality. Robert Emmons Ph.D., the world’s leading scientific expert on gratitude writes, “in the face of demoralization gratitude has the power to energize. In the face of brokenness, gratitude has the power to heal. In the face of despair, gratitude has the power to bring hope.” Emmons describes being thankful in two ways: First, it’s an affirmation of goodness. We affirm that there are good things in the world- gifts and benefits we’ve received. This doesn’t mean that life is perfect. But when we look at life as a whole, gratitude encourages us to identify some amount of goodness in our life. The second part of gratitude is figuring out where that goodness comes from. We recognize the sources of this goodness as being outside of ourselves. We acknowledge that other people or a higher power gave us many gifts to help us achieve the goodness in our lives.
Growing our capacity for gratitude has one of the strongest links to mental health and life satisfaction, even more than optimism, hope or compassion. People who practice gratitude consistently report a host of benefits. These include:
· Physical- Stronger immune systems; decreased pain; lower blood pressure; greater inclination to exercise, and improved sleep.
· Psychological- Increased positive emotions- joy, pleasure, optimism and happiness; More alert, alive, and awake, and better well-being.
· Social- More helpful, generous, and compassionate, and forgiving. Feeling less lonely and isolated
“If the only prayer you said was ‘thank you’ that would be enough.” – Meister Eckhart
Rewire your brain with a Gratitude Challenge
Let’s join together in a habit that will make a significant impact on our physical and mental well-being. Start with me tomorrow- a 21-day gratitude challenge as outlined in the book Gratitude Works! By Robert A. Emmons.
Here’s how it works- Complete the following 7 exercises, one for each day repeated for 3 weeks (it takes about 21 days to develop a strong habit). Decide on the best time of day and the length of time you will devote (5- 10 minutes). Find a friend to hold you accountable and to share your experiences with. Keep track in a journal (it doesn’t have to be fancy). This will become a permanent record that is a gift and personal inspiration now and in days to come. If three weeks seems overwhelming, start smaller with just a week or try 1x per week
Day 1: Three Blessings
Write three good things that happened today (big or small) for which you could give other people some credit
Day 2: To Whom for What
Think of 3-5 things for which you are thankful for and who provided that gift or benefit to you. Fill in the blanks: I am grateful to __________ for ________
Day 3: The Gifted Self
Focus on gifts that you have received in your life; include everyday pleasures, people, talents, or gestures of kindness from others. How can you respond with gratitude or “pay it forward”?
Day 4: Scarcity
Think of an activity, event or experience that may be ending soon (within 3 months). Given the little time you have left with this activity/experience/
Day 5: Absence of Blessing
Think about an aspect of your life for which you feel grateful, then write about the ways in which this might never have happened. This is the “feel more by imagining less phenomenon.”
Day 6: Gratitude Letter
Write a letter to someone expressing your gratitude for how he or she affected your life. You don’t actually need to send it but spend some time imagining how reading the letter would make the recipient feel.
Day 7: Remember the Bad
Choose an experience from your life that was initially unpleasant and unwanted. As the result of this event, what kinds of things do you now feel thankful or grateful for?
Repeat this cycle for 3 weeks, then spend at least one more day reflecting on the experience. What did you learn about yourself? What did you find surprising? What obstacles did you encounter and how did you overcome those roadblocks? I would love to receive your feedback on your experience if you would like to share it confidentially.
“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” Melody Beattie, author.
I am grateful for all of you!
– Trish
Thanks for joining us in this place of encouragement and inspiration, A few things you should know: You are loved and complete just the way you are AND you can make small changes in your life to find wellbeing in mind, body and spirit.
If you are new to our newsletter, check out past blogs and additional resources at threetothrivewellness.com. Share this newsletter with anyone you think would benefit from reading it.
Resources:
Books by Robert A. Emmons, PhD- Thanks!: How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier, The Little Book of Gratitude, Gratitude Works! a 21-Day Program for Creating Emotional Prosperity, Words of Gratitude