Weathering the storm
Bumping down dusty roads in the Georgia backcountry in a big black rented Cadillac Escalade, staring at the one cell service bar on my phone. Watching the clock, calculating pace, and mentally rehearsing possible worst-case scenarios. Checking the tracking site. Searching for the optimal parking spot (can I fit this big rig into the closest patch of dead grass next to the aid station?) Am I blocking anyone? Did I miss him already? Settling into my camp chair but always alert. Did I just see the woman who was behind him at the last aid station? I try to read but I can’t concentrate. I check the tracking site again- it hasn’t updated. Should I use the bathroom? But what if I miss him coming in? Everything is ready to go- my checklist of first aid supplies, food, cold drinks, a change of clothes, recharged batteries, and encouraging words. He’s here! Rushing through all the things, sending him off and then phew… take a breath, a short nap, and do it all again at the next station. This is crewing for a point-to-point 200 mile ultra marathon. It was much more than I imagined in every way, living moment to moment.
On the way home from the race, we stopped at my friends’ new house. They moved down to North Carolina to help care for their one-year-old twin grandson. When we arrived, the boys were there as their mom had some errands to run. Constantly vigilant for any possible danger or miracle of discovery, my friends were living moment to moment with those active infants. Even though the adult to child ratio was 1:1, just getting to the bathroom was a task postponed until the last possible minute. I was handed one unhappy infant. Thinking about the commonalities between race crewing and baby crewing, I was stuck with the conundrum- how do you care for yourself when every moment requires your full attention? Sleep deprived, undernourished, and stressed, how do people in full crisis mode have the time or energy to care for their own health needs? How do we weather the storm?
Stormy Sky- Andrea Tasevski Fine Art
Sometimes there is absolutely no room for anything beyond survival. Sometimes all you can do is find the closest stable object and hold on until the crisis is over. I knew my time crewing Rob was limited to four days. Babies do grow up and family crisis eventually resolve. Most of the time, there is a little wiggle room to start working on small, simple activities to look after your own wellbeing. If you are reading this newsletter, chances are you are ready to look for a little more lightness, energy, or connection to the outside world.
Here are some ways I tried to work-in some healthy habits in those all-consuming moments.
- I planned for the trip, with pre-made healthy snacks to avoid all the yummy high-carb runner’s food.
- Whenever I could remember, I took a few deep sighing breaths.
- I slept whenever I could- even a short 20-minute nap helped.
- A friend came along to support me as I tended to my husband. And her dog was the best!
- There was really no cell service so besides checking the tracker app, I was free to enjoy the spring blooms and scenery and avoid social media.
- Somehow, I remembered to brush my teeth once a day. That was important for everyone else I talked to!
- I prayed. This always helps.
- We had a bunch of friends checking in and offering support from a-far.
- I walked when I had the chance- even if it was pacing. That really helped my nervous energy.
Next year-
There are things I will do differently next time. (And yes, we are planning to go back down to finish the race next year). I had the intention of going for long hikes, re-reading my coaching manual, and sending nice long updates to the folks who were following Rob on the tracker. My biggest tip for basic self-care in times of overwhelm is:
10. Practice self-compassion. I acknowledge I did my best and take in my husband’s appreciation.
If this blog finds you in a moment you can come up for air in your time of intensity, you are welcome and encouraged to use my examples of small ways to maintain your sanity and health. Or encourage someone else who is going through a tough time:
- Get support
- Do your best with the basics: drink water, eat real food, take deep breaths and prioritize rest
- Get outside
- Pet that dog
- Say a prayer
- Be kind to yourself
The attached picture is from my talented dear friend, Andrea Tasevski. You can enjoy the beauty of her creations at: andreatasevski.com
Wishing you well, Trish
Thanks for joining us in this place of encouragement and inspiration, A few things you should know: You are loved and complete just the way you are AND you can make small changes in your life to find wellbeing in mind, body and spirit.
Subscribe to the newsletter using the contact form or subscribe to my new Substack at: https://threetothrivewellness32.substack.com/ to receive fresh weekly posts right into your inbox.